Summer mom blues.

Summertime. Sun. Popsicles. Pools. Cookouts. Fourth of July parades. There are so many reasons to love summertime. One of my absolute favorite things about summer though: I get to have both my kids home, full time.

Nothing makes me sadder than seeing posts on Facebook or hearing things from acquaintances/friends/family like: “I dread when school lets out,” or “what am I going to do with the kids all day?” Or “I can’t wait until they go back.” No judgement if you’ve ever said similar things or felt that way. Trust me, there are days I feel like banging my head against the wall. But, when the kids come home from school for the summer it’s finally time to spend some quality, bonding time. No matter the relationship dynamics, behaviors, etc. there are some ways that I’ve found makes the time productive and enjoyable. One thing that just helps is maintaining the outline of a schedule. I say outline because one of the nicest things about summer is the freedom from school bells and alarms. Don’t overwhelm yourself by making it rigid. Just have an awareness of doing specific things at sort-of specific times. If you don’t have a schedule established already here is what ours looks like: 6:30-7:00: wake up and make beds 7:00-8:00: breakfast and the kids usually watch pbs while I make, serve, and clean up breakfast 8:00-9:00 or 9:30: coloring, reading, “homework,”* music, painting, baking (head to my Pinterest and follow my “mom of daughters” board for craft and activity inspiration) *I buy workbooks for my elementary age daughter in preparation of the year ahead. 80% of what is learned during the year has to be refreshed in the fall. I try to make that percentage lower. Right now we are working through a first grade workbook because that’s the grade she’s going into in the fall. The 2yo finger paints, or colors, or dances to music while we work. We make it super fun and dance too, tell funny stories or jokes. It’s one of both of our favorite times. 9:30-10:00: clean up 10:00-11:30: outside time as long as it’s nice. If it’s not then we keep reading, painting, or I try to look at the weather in advance and have a craft ready for this time of the weather is going to be chilly or rainy 11: 30: clean up 11:45-12:15: lunch* (ideas below) 12:30-1:30 through 2:30: 2yo nap, and 6yo and I have bonding/reading/music/yoga/exercise time 2-3:00: snacks 3:30: back outside for playtime in nice weather or playtime inside if weather isn’t cooperating 5:00: clean up 5:30: I put a show on for them while I cook dinner 6:00-6:30 dinner* 6:30: play time 7:00: bath time 7:30: books and snuggles 8:15: bedtime 8:30: and for the rest of the evening my husband and I are able to do whatever we need that we’ve otherwise been denied all day. Each of the kids have chores, both the 6 and 2yo, that I ask them to do while cleaning up. 2 is not too young to start helping and listening. I did not implement listening practices in my oldest at this age, and as a result we butt heads far more often. The toddler picks up specific toys, puts things away, brings me things to put away. I think one of the things that can make having the kids home full time for summer difficult is the tendency to not see eye to eye with them, and adjusting to just being around each other all day long again. One of my favorite things as a mom is seeing my kids’ brains working. I love watching them put 2+2 together, developing logic, and reason. It’s difficult when they’re overly articulate with a tendency to be logical, but I often find myself in awe of the arguments my 6yo comes up with -even as infuriating as it may be. Try to look at your little creation with the same eyes of wonder as they look at you with. Remember you’re preparing them for a life away from you. So the better they learn to defend and speak up for themselves, the better they’ll be in a sometimes rough and unforgiving world. Meal ideas: In my “weightloss and wellness” post I include a grocery list, so go check that out if you haven’t yet, but here are some meals that are quick, easy, and nutritious. Breakfast ideas: banana pancakes with flaxseed and almond flour; eggs over easy on top of a sausage patty and Colby jack cheese; homemade honey wheat bread with homemade strawberry jelly (recipe on Pinterest), oatmeal with fresh fruit and almond milk. Lunch ideas: grilled chicken salads, cauliflower rice and ground turkey bowls, carrots with hummus and hard boiled eggs, turkey and cheese sandwiches. I add fresh fruit (banana slices, strawberries, apple slices, grapes cut in half) at almost every meal. Dinner: tuna steaks and roasted veggies; crockpot chicken with sweet potatoes and baked apples; turkey burgers with lettuce wraps, cauliflower rice, and pineapple; steak fajitas with spinach wraps, and black bean and corn salsa. Snacks. The never ending battle. If your kids are anything like mine you probably hear, “can I have a snack?” at least 28,567 times in any given day. I’ve found that requiring a set amount of food for them at meals drastically reduces their desire to snack but some fun, healthy options we go to are: apple slices with peanut butter, fruit bowls, carrots with hummus, pita chips and hummus, celery with peanut butter and raisins, and oven dried fruit. I give them a snack as soon as the little one is up from her nap. I find it keeps them both less cranky and more agreeable until dinner. Having multiple meals prepped in advance gives the benefit of offering options to them too. They often eat any combination of the options listed above. One of the best benefits of our schedule is that it provides security for the kids, and peace of mind for us. We all know generally what to expect and when, and it keeps our days full of fun, and utilizes our time together more effectively. One of the easiest ways we distract ourselves from our lives and our loved ones is through social media and our various technologies. You’re probably reading this because of a social media post, but prioritize your time so that when the kids are playing independently you can catch up on your notifications. When they’re wanting to engage with you in play, or in conversation, don’t let there be a screen between you. My husband and I put our phones up at certain times to ensure we’re fully present for each other and for our kids. Now, I know many are probably reading this rolling your eyes at how holier than thou this must sound. We don’t unroll 10/10 days here 24/7/365. We just don’t. That’s why I shape the schedule as being more of an outline. With the meals we’re pretty rigid, but I do a TON of prep on Saturday and throughout the week as the 2yo naps, and/or while daddy catches up on engagement with them in the evening. That is also when I clean the kitchen, change/fold laundry, write, read, etc. The biggest thing is being present for your family. I love knowing I can make meaningful eye contact with my kids while they tell me their stories and dreams, I love that they want me to play “Ariel,” with them, I love having dance parties, and even though it can be exhausting I love that they want me all the time. My babies only get one mom. I get one shot at making the person who their mom is someone they remember as always being there, as being loving, kind, and forgiving. There are so many ways I could do a better job at keeping my temper, at reprimanding with compassion and not out of anger, but I’m not perfect. I just do my best to love them and pray that God will fill in the gaps. And he always does. I never want to wake up one day and realize the last time one of them wanted to play pretend with me was the last time. I am always looking for cheap ways to entertain the kids that are still super fun. One of my favorite ways is with the lawn sprinkler. On those hot, hot days of summer we plug that bad boy in and voila. Automatic fountain. Another way that requires money up front, but saves money in the long run is by buying passes to our favorite places. We have a membership to the local pool, the Columbus zoo and aquarium, and a local children’s museum. On average we save over $1000/year this way. The trips and costs of admission add up. If we go to the zoo 3 times the pass has paid for itself. We go on average 2-3 dozen times, if not more, per year.

Summer is such a magical, amazing time. I hope that while you’re home this summer you’re able to enjoy it. The kids will only be the age they are now this summer. Every day they get older, and older, and one day you’ll be drinking coffee on the patio during a quiet June morning wishing one of them would just call. Don’t wish away these days. Cherish every minute. Just like the summer nights ahead, they’ll be gone far too soon.